HOW TO FIND PEACE
noun: freedom from disturbance; tranquility.
"You can while away an hour or two in peace and seclusion"
What does peace feel like for you? How do you stay in peace when life gets in the way? What impact has peace had on your Health, Philanthropy, Relationships and Business?
When I sat to write this, I asked myself these three questions and here is what happened…
What does peace feel like for you?
Peace feels like relief. It feels like calm. It feels like ease.
These feelings are things I struggled with my entire life until recently. I am naturally high strung by nature and so used to dealing with challenges that I became addicted to the struggle. Even when things were easy I would look for reasons to make them hard. I obviously didn’t do this “on purpose” but never the less I did it.
I have heard it called 'self-sabotage' and now looking back I would agree that is an accurate description of what I did. Here are some of the ways I would block my own peace.
If I felt wronged or mistreated by someone I would think about it, analyze it, discuss it and explain it… basically re-living it over and over and making it important and much bigger than it ever was. Basically, I caused drama. Nothing ever came out of all that wasted time or wasted conversation.
I spent lots of time defending my opinions and debating points without any resolution. I was so focused on being right that it would cost me my peace. How stupid is that? This ego driven response and way of life was how I operated until recently.
I decided one day that my own personal peace was the priority in my life and worked on changing my mindset to align with that intention. Here is how I did it...
I stopped arguing.
How do you stay in peace when life gets in the way?
Yeah, so you are probably thinking you can stay in peace because you are an empty nester and single and you work for yourself. Well I am not going to lie it is definitely easier now than it was in my past.
What you don’t know is that I started to make my peace a priority while going through divorce, both my girls applying to college back-to-back and moving.
I knew that there was no more room for drama and stress in my life and even though I was going through all these major life situations I was going to choose peace every time.
I didn’t fight and instead I allowed. I accepted things as they were unfolding and chose the path of least resistance each time. This is called “the art of allowing."
This is now how I approach everything in my life. If you approach everything like that you don’t need constantly stress or worry. You simply allow things as they are and life becomes a lot more peaceful.
If there is something I wish to change I work towards changing it but I no longer try to change anyone else. This has given me the most peace and ease.
What impact has peace had on your Health, Philanthropy, Relationships and Business?
Choosing peace has had an incredibly positive impact on my life all around.
As far as my Health goes, this mindset has upgraded my quality of sleep. Mostly because I don’t lay in bed replaying conversations over and over again in my mind. I have noticed that I do not “stress eat” which means eating for comfort and overeating. These things happened gradually but have made a big difference in how I feel.
Philanthropy is my greatest motivation. It is the reason I do what I do. The intention is to be able to help others without hesitation. Since making peace the baseline in my life, my philanthropic work has become incredibly vibrant and super fun! I enjoy the meetings I attend a lot more and I get to work with incredible people that I am now lucky enough to call friends.
Relationships determine that quality of our life experience so it is only fitting that when we are at peace our relationships align with that. This is the most evident in the relationship I have with my daughters. I have always shared a strong bond with them but now it is a whole other level. My friendships, which I treasure, have become easier and deeper. My relationship with my mother has become stronger.
The most positive impact of all has been on my Business. By being at peace and not trying to be everything for everyone I have the extreme privilege of working with companies and entrepreneurs who are directly aligned with my purpose and I with theirs. Watching them thrive and succeed is one of the best feelings in the world.
Here are some Tips and Tricks on how to choose PEACE:
- Choose to be happy instead of right. There is no point in making yourself upset just for someone to tell you are right.
- Accept people exactly how they are. Just look at how hard it is to change yourself. Imagine how insane it is to think you can actually change someone else.
- Don’t talk about things just to create drama. If something happens that you don’t like then move on. Reliving it just makes it last longer.
- Forgive easily without an apology. This is a superpower and once you develop it your path to peace will be even easier.